A multipurpose travel cot!

Another photo of the fabulous phil&teds adult hangover capsule. After traveling the world with her very own house, bubs now has grown very attached to her travel cot. We’ve put her wahakura in there and now it’s become a kind of baby bolt-hole. It even goes across the road to Nana’s when the parents have decided to take back the night for themselves. We’re now using the iron heart method of enforced sleep patterns so it’s nice to know that when she says “I’m not ready for bed – even though I’m rubbing my eyes and screaming hysterically”, we can simply put her in the phil&ted’s padded cell, close the door, and a mere glass of shiraz later, we’ll find her asleep in the position of her choice.

Most animal babies know when to go to sleep, they just feel tired and curl up and go to sleep with little fuss. Look at puppies or kittens. Even f*****g tarantula babies know when to lie down and chill out. You don’t see a baby tiger saying “I’m exhausted but don’t have any concept of shutting up and going to sleep so I’ll just stand here and scream!” You never see a baby foal, rubbing it’s little red eyes, yelling “What the hell is happening to me?? I hate you guys but I also just want to hang out with you, but then again I just want to be alone, and I’m hungry but kind of not really so I’ll just keep screaming until the thing I want (whatever that is) happens!!!” Just after they’re born, in the middle of the night, baby turtles walk down the beach, the equivalent of about a mile for their little legs, get in an ocean which is full of things that eat turtles, and don’t come home for a year. They do this ON THE DAY THEY ARE BORN. And without even meeting their parents. Human babies have a lot to learn from turtle babies. So a message to you little humans, we love you and you’re damn cute, but until you can leave home and live in the ocean for a whole year without someone changing your nappy or feeding you old people’s food, you’ve got nothing to complain about, so just…. go. to. sleep.

 

About the author:

Taika Waititi, also known as Taika Cohen, is a New Zealand-born film director, writer, painter, comedian, actor and new dad! Taika wrote and directed the New Zealand cult classic "Boy"..