1) Beg – yes, beg. If we want our WAGs to even consider letting us out of the house for a few hours a week, this is a must. They won’t take kindly to having to stay home with kids while we’re off having fun with the lads.
2) Back it up with a trade off – This requires us to fulfill what seems like an infinite number of chores around the house and garden before we are allowed to leave for the game.
3) Be prepared for the aftermath – I have seen this extend for as long as a year. This means that the lucky lady has the power to guilt trip you into doing anything she wants, all because she once let you out of the house to play indoor cricket. It could be six months in the future when she wants to go on a shopping trip in a city four hours away, and requires your presence, commenting on how beautiful she looks while simultaneously swiping your credit card. It could be the very next day when her mum drops by for a surprise visit but needs a place to stay for the night (just a side note – I’m personally very fond of my partner’s mum (much love, Barbara) but I understand that not all males have that luxury). It could even be in the middle of the night when she just wants to have a conversation about her day. Whatever it is, be ready because it will come when you least expect it.
Now that we all had permission to play, I sat down to begin the challenging task of selecting players for the first match. Kiwi blokes have a tendency to imagine a social sports game is the Rugby World Cup final, so with this in mind I sat down for hours going over past stats. I weighed that up against current fitness levels to try to determine the best team. You’ll see some of the team members featured below, fine specimens eh? I think a few more lunchtime bowl off’s in the park, and we’ll be ready for our first game. Well, as ready as we’ll ever be…