I wrote a couple of posts a while back. phil&teds thought it would be a great idea to share the parenting journey through a blokes eyes. Not too much has changed. I am constantly getting reminded about the importance of being organised and sticking to the routine. This has recently been heightened due to the arrival of a set of twins. We were the classic ‘have two kids, lets go for one more……..’
The moment the doctor told us, is something I will never forget. It will remain as the biggest surprise of my life. So much so for the first 3 months my wife’s doctor seemed to be more concerned about me than her. It was our first scan so we were a little excited. He was doing what doctors do at a scan. He then started having a good look around. He said ‘there is something you should know’. My heart immediately sank within half a second, thinking the worst. He then said ‘there is two’. My heart went from shocked to scared, pretty happy, and then to where the hell is the money going to come from? I will be working until I’m 80, we need a car & bigger house within another half second. Then I replied are you serious (may have been an expletive in there). My wife was over the moon, then worried about me. I could of fallen off my chair. To be honest I was like the kid that opens up a Christmas present and is disappointed but trying to not to show it!!! I definitely wasn’t disappointed it was just true shock. It didn’t take long before the excitement kicked in. I started to call a couple of mates. That in itself is something I would never do. Not really that type of bloke. You know the ones who ‘call all my boyfriends to tell them the great news’ type!!
We are 7 months into this brave new world. And for the most part it is amazing. We both feel very privileged to have this large brood. Certainly above average. I must say I struggled a couple of months ago to cope with the constant demands of the twins. I thought my job would be to take the 2 older boys (2&4) out and about and get them out of mums hair. I didn’t realise she needed a hand with the twins, or maybe I was hoping she’d be right and leave me out of it. Things have improved, but you can’t drop the ball. Should I say, I can not drop the ball. Especially if I am running solo. When I sit down on the couch I get an overwhelming feeling of ‘I know there is something to do, I need to get up and work out what it is’. This feeling also come from learnt behaviour. I have learnt to sit on the couch softly. Anything too noisy and my wife uses her 7th sense and yells out another couple of jobs I need to do. So even if there is nothing to do I never feel at ease sitting there!!!
My wife is quite unique. I work some funny schedules. She can be at home for a month by herself. Truly amazing. We live overseas away from any family support. We did discuss getting help. For her it is easy to organise and keep to her own routine. I truly appreciate what she does when I come home and do the night feeds and help with the twins during the day and do activities with the older 2. I do not normally cook dinners as she can cook in 15 mins what takes me 45 mins. 5-7 pm at our house is absolute chaos!! I last about 5-6 days then I hit the wall. Not just figuratively either. My body starts to shut down. I fall asleep anywhere. I can see why she is not so comfortable leaving me alone too much yet!
Amongst all this chaos, yelling, crying, and wall of nappies, is a lot of hilarity between my wife and I. I am pretty sure that is what gets us across the line. And the fact that I work away, so she manages just to have the 4 kids for a few weeks at a time!!!